I feel this might be a relevant topic for many during these unsettling times.
And I imagine anyone reading has an idea about what a response to this question might be: meditation and breathing, a good night’s sleep, a nutritious diet, exercise, hanging out with loved ones… The list can go on and on.
Nope, none of those things (although they are all helpful as well).
In my opinion, the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another (…and kudos to William James for coming up with that quote.)
Bear in mind, this is not advice for dealing with an actual, immediate, in-your-face stressful situation. I’m not recommending you think like this when the rent is past due, and your furniture is out at the curb. Or, even more “immediate,” when a speeding bus (it’s always a bus) is bearing down on you. Those moments require action, not a thought reboot.
I’m talking about the stress you feel about things that are out of your immediate control. In other words, the stuff you deal with a lot.
For example, how many times have you felt, or even said to someone, “I can’t help it. I just can’t stop thinking about X, Y, Z. It’s like an ongoing loop I keep playing in my brain. It’s the rabbit hole I can’t stop myself from going down.”
What do all those pronouncements have in common? You are the only one controlling them. In other words (and barring a number of mental health challenges), it is your choice.
Now, please don’t infer from my words that I don’t realize how difficult it is to stop spiraling in these directions. I can be the queen of catastrophizing. Give me one flickering lightbulb, and I’m gathering flashlights, candles and filling the bathtub, anxiously waiting for the major power outage. And I also recognize that some thoughts can get dug in and don’t go away too easily.
But maybe next time you’re stressing about something over which you have no immediate control, try this. Hit the hold button on it and take another call. Focus on something else with a more positive spin (there’s always something else). Maybe run around with that one a bit.
As an example, last week I was preparing for a visit from my son and his family and worrying about the rainy weather and traffic they were hitting along the way. So just like Alice in Wonderland, I jumped down that bunny hole and thrashed around for a bit. Lots of useless thinking and not a whole lot of fun.
But then I decided to pivot. Instead, I pictured the joy of their arrival and the fun we were planning for the next day. It worked! My anxiety level went down, and I climbed out of that hole, which meant they were greeted by a calmer, less stressed grandma when they arrived.
You may be asking…isn’t it, kind of, just another form of distraction?
Totally. 100%. No question about it.
But at the end of the day, who out there prefers a good distraction over a negative one?
I’m assuming there are a bunch of hands in the air right now. So, on that note, I will leave you with this funny, seasonal and very short (only 5 seconds) distraction.
