Inspired by my last post, Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Year, I have been thinking a lot about this question:
“What’s a quote or idea you’d like to use as a mantra next year?”
I‘ve decided that I want my 2025 quote to be this:
You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone – profusely. But don’t apologize for being who you are.
~ Danielle LaPorte
I feel this quote embodies my best opportunity for personal growth. Recently, I’ve been fearful of being judged for certain behavior and personality traits that may annoy or turn off others. In some ways, this has been productive because I have been encouraged to make changes that I wanted to make. However, in some ways, I have felt shame and judgment for things I don’t want to change. I’ve even felt rejected for qualities that I really like about myself. As a result, I’ve felt the urge to tone down parts of my personality that I most value. I want to be confident to be my authentic self and to worry less about how others may judge or be negatively impacted by the real me. I want to spend more time thinking about the good I can bring to myself and others by unapologetically being me.
This might be the most challenging goal I have ever set for myself. Considering that I’ve set and met goals like completing Half Ironmans, raising millions of dollars, and skiing two million vertical feet in a year when I held a full-time job, this says a lot. Being my authentic self means that I might disappoint or inconvenience people. I might be misunderstood or disapproved of. I might not be as desirable as I could be. I might have to end relationships. I might feel lonely more often than I’d like.
These prospects feel far more daunting than a 70.3 mile Half Ironman, but I think I’m up to the challenge. We’ll see….
Wise words. In my later life I have bent over backwards to make others happy . In the process I have lost myself and what had made me edgy and interesting to others. I miss her and want me back.