Many of my most successful investments and business deals have come through referrals. I’ve learned that the most effective referrals happen when I clearly articulate what I’m looking for and make it easy for others to pass that information along. Recently, I decided to apply that same approach to a more personal search: finding the right romantic partner.
I received a lot of positive feedback on an email I recently sent out, and I thought I’d share it here in case it could be helpful for others too. And of course, if anyone comes to mind after reading my email, I’d be grateful for any introductions you’re willing to make.
Subject: Do you know any men who might be a match for me?
Hi [Insert Name],
I hope all is well.
My apologies in advance if this question feels a little weird given our professional relationship, but I’m wondering if you know any men who might be ideal life partners for me. I decided to overcome my nervousness to ask you this question because, as I’ve learned as a VC, the best prospects often come from referrals. I have a deep respect for your judgement of character, and I feel as if you know me well enough to imagine the type of man who might be compatible with me.
I’m open to all suggestions, but to help you think through potential matches for me, here are a few of my ideal criteria:
I am most interested in ambitious, purpose-driven men who have the self-confidence to stand for their convictions AND the self-awareness and curiosity to question their opinions and see right and wrong in color rather than black and white.
- Age 40–55.
- Ideally no children. Open to adult children.
- Ideally, someone living in Montana or Colorado. I currently split my time between Bozeman, MT, and Vail, CO, although I am open to relocating.
- Prioritizes an active and healthy lifestyle, which ideally includes skiing, hiking, and strength training.
- Income level is unimportant to me, while ambition, drive, and a real passion for their career, athletic pursuits, and/or philanthropic endeavors are very important to me.
- I value emotional intelligence and street smarts more than book smarts.
- I like men who have the desire, complementary skills, and personality suited to be my partner or collaborator in life, business, and/or philanthropy.
- Money-motivated, self-made men are a good complement to me because they can help keep me grounded.
- I like men who would make an ideal all-round partner for me, not just in life, but also in business and/or philanthropy. I would like to collaborate with my partner on things that create value beyond our relationship.
- Ideally, I would like to meet someone with the flexibility in their life circumstances to be able to take advantage of my ability to work when and from where I want to. However, if he is working on a project or business that greatly interests me and I have a strong desire to join as a partner or collaborator, I can forgo my desire for flexibility.
In case this makes it easier for you, here is a bit about me that you could pass on to potential prospects.
I’m a 43-year-old entrepreneur turned venture capitalist turned author, podcaster, and philanthropist who is searching for a new life partner. My ex-husband, to whom I was married for 15 years, was an ideal partner for the first chapter of my life, but not for the second. I have been separated for over two years and divorced for about a year and a half. I do not have children. I have designed my life in such a way that I am able to pursue meaningful and fulfilling work from anywhere and on my own schedule. I am financially secure, but I enjoy spending at least twenty percent of my time pursuing meaningful projects, ideally I would like to do this in collaboration with my romantic partner. I currently split my time between Bozeman, MT, and Vail, CO, but am open to relocating.
People often tell me that their conversations with me rank among the most meaningful and memorable of their lives. This is perhaps my greatest strength. I ask insightful questions that others don’t think to ask. I see insightful patterns that others don’t see. I share insightful feedback that others don’t share. I have designed my life to be able to pursue meaningful and fulfilling work from anywhere and on my own schedule. I typically ski 60-85 days in the winter and hike at least three days a week in the summer. My idea of the perfect day is to wake up before the sun rises with enough time to think, relax, and check a few things off my task list before heading out to hike or ski with someone who wants to have a life-altering conversation on the trail or chairlift. I am insatiably curious and happiest when I feel like I am learning something new in almost every conversation. I am deeply inspired by my work and seek the same in my relationships. I am most inspired by relationships that push my edge and by discerning men who can “meet me” and are mentally and physically “at my level”, or ideally slightly above. I want to feel inspired by my partner and challenged to give my best to “meet him” on a daily basis.
I have attached a few photos here.
