Here’s another post on the theme of seeking advice from my past/current selves.
Dear Today Me,
I’ve been working for a non-profit job for about a year. Despite being hardworking and talented, my boss seems to be struggling in her position. This is having an impact on all staff and the board. My relatively newbie status is definitely a challenge in dealing with sticky office politics involving a current employment review of her performance. My questions:
- Should I trust the motives of friendly board members who are providing “helpful” but negative “past history” comments about the boss?
- Am I letting my own feelings about wanting to eliminate recent work bumps affect my observations of her performance?
- Am I just going with the flow to protect my own job?
Sincerely,
Past Me
Dear Past Me,
You hit the nail on the head when you described office dynamics as “sticky.” Sometimes you brush up against that stuff and then can’t seem to break free.
Unfortunately, you ended up getting “stuck” early on by listening to the negative voices of others and, yes, you did go with the flow a little too much. Your somewhat mixed comments in the employee review certainly didn’t lead to the boss’s ultimate firing, but they probably didn’t help. And that termination began a downward spiral in the organization, one from which it has never really recovered.
It would have been wiser to put the brakes on your feedback to this “review” until you got a clearer picture for yourself of all the moving parts. You should have leaned into that newbie status. In your defense, we often gravitate toward those people who welcome us the most in those first months of employment. Unfortunately, we sometimes discover later that their motives in creating the friendship are pretty suspect. You’re a fan of the reality show Survivor, so you know how that “forming alliances” thing goes.
Your boss was struggling, but you and she were doing good work together, so taking more time to explore her side of things should have been step one. And once you got that clearer picture, looking inward to identify your own motives would also have helped. Trying to eliminate workplace bumps with a difficult boss is completely reasonable. But be sure to own your own role in any conflict before placing too much of the blame elsewhere.
Sincerely,
Today Me
